Ugh, A Reading

Winter has been difficult this year.  It seems like we've been battered from day one, either with lots of snow or wicked cold.  Maybe I've gotten soft from the run we had of mild winters.  But this is just crazy.  I'm sick of being cold, and I'm sick of being cooped up inside.  So what's a girl to do?  Read cards of course.  But, sad to say, Llewellyn isn't helping today.  I need something warmer, a bit more active- kind of like ginger.  Something to heat me up from the inside out.  So, tonight I'm grabbing my Osho Zen.  I feel like Osho's personality is that of a fat marmalade cat laying in a sunny window... "What's all the fuss?  Just enjoy yourself, why doncha?  Relax!"

Even shuffling this chunky deck cheers me up.  The beautiful design on the back is color therapy- golds, oranges, yellows... like sunshine.  I am just doing a general "checkup" sort of reading tonight... how am I doing?  What needs attention?  What isn't working in my life, and what is?

I draw 3 cards-Understanding, We are the World, and Friendliness.  How nice.  This deck does tend to play nice- when you need it.  When you need tough love... well, there is plenty of darkness to go around as well...

The image of understanding (page of cups) is a flock of white birds- doves- who are all flying out into the wild blue yonder... through a set of bars... like they have finally understood that they had access to freedom all the while that they were locked up.  This relates to my job- I have, in the past few days, come to understand that I am not locked up in this job- I am not being held hostage.  Nobody has a knife to my throat.  I could quit tomorrow if I wanted to.  And besides that, I have the choice to allow certain people to freak the hell out of me, or I can choose to not let it get to me- to be impenetrable.  That is the freedom of the hanged man- even though physically, he's tied up and left hanging, mentally he can go wherever he wants, and he has made the choice to not feel bad about what is happening... he's not letting it get to him.

We are the world (10 of pentacles) other than reminding me of Michael Jackson (ewww) this card reminds me that sappy as it seems, we are all in this together... the human condition is something we all share- and there is a shared consciousness... this has to do with my tarot studies... looking into archetypes and mythology, and finding the common threads.  Joseph Campbell is my homeboy.  I also wonder if this might relate to Obama.  Granted, he wasn't my favorite- for a long while- I have now come to see his true potential.  I still don't view him as a guru, but maybe he can heal some of the damage done by Bush, and not just the stuff related to the economy- but more, our sense of who we are- we aren't Americans first, we are humans first. 

Friendliness (2 of cups) is one of the most endearing cards to me in this deck... it is so simple, and so cute.  Two pretty little trees have decided to grow next to each other.  I guess I'm not sure what this means right now- my co-worker K has become a good friend.  Maybe that's what it is saying.  I'm going to draw a clarifyer card... hmm, sorrow.  A picture of a person- he looks like a monk- all by himself in a dark room.  Would be 9 of swords in a normal deck.  I think Osho is pointing out that we grow better when we have company, and that I need to stop hiding out in my room, on my computer. :D  Well, to be serious, it would be good to meet some local tarot enthusiasts.  I just need to figure out how... pulling another card...

Intensity (knight of wands) shows a person sprinting... in this triangle (hard to explain) and focused to a point right in front of him.  So, maybe taking an idea and running with it, being direct.  Maybe I can ask at my local woo-woo shop! :D

Okay, I think that's it for tonight.  Funny, with Osho Zen, I feel more like asking a question at a time, pulling a card.  An interview.

Reading #1

Question:  How can I make the most of my job at this time?

My job is currently in retail hell, with a district manager who is crazy...a highly unpleasent environment and far too stressful for the meager wages I am making.  I know that this job is not a long term solution, but I want to make the best of things right now.  I'm tired, pissed off, and generally grumpy right now.  Don't feel much like reading, but I know it will help me to forget about the day.

I shuffled halfheartedly and drew 3 cards without positions, jsut to see what story they told.  1st card is the 10 of wands.  This is obviously how I am feeling- emotionally, mentally, and physically.  Actually, my shoulder is really hurting right now, so I winced a bit when I saw this card!  Ouch!  But also, I feel like I am working hard and seeing nothing back- I break my butt for this job, and don't even get a well done.  There is no incentive for working so hard- maybe this is telling me to slow down a bit, and not push so hard.

Second card is the sun.  Always look on the bright side of life maybe? Right now that's about as bright and shiny as I get... but in terms of making the most of my job?  Well, I gues I'm stumped... maybe I need to present myself as confident and strong?  The white horse reminds me of a series of dreams I had a while back- all sorts of dreams in which I tried to heal these beautiful white horses who had been hurt or maimed... I always woke up crying.  I still am unsure what those were about.

The third card is the moon.  Unbelievably gorgeous... I am mesmerized by this card.  A full, luminous moon shimmers in a lake... an owl hovers in the silence... fish are brought to the surface.  This card speaks to me of silence and spirituality... listening to my most inward thoughts, and instinct.  I feel like the moon is the antidote to the 10 of wands and the sun- both so fiery and masculine, full of loudness and strain.  The moon tells me to unplug, let go, and dream.