As I shuffle, I note that my mood is rather peaceful- I have the next 3 days off from work, and I have already settled into relaxation. I also note that it seems easier to shuffle my deck- and the cards seem supple, yet sturdy. I know some complain about Llewellyn's cardstock, but I rather like it. I think lightly upon the spread, and find my shuffling rhythm.
1: The Dream: Your heart's desire: Hanged Man... Huh, interesting. I think this is my desire to be able to roll with the punches, let go, and not let my circumstances effect my happiness... to be able to choose happiness even when the situation would make me feel otherwise... to act rather than react- and to retain my balance when the world turns me on my head.
2: Your Companions: The assistance you will receive: 6 of Cups. My memories? Perhaps an old friend will come back into my life, or else someone who makes me act in a childlike way... actually,I think this has more to do with finding beauty in simple things, such as the wildflowers and apples.
3: The Journey: Unfamiliar places you must go to realize the dream: The Chariot. Well, the Chariot has always been an uncomfortable card for me- the idea of going fast scares me. I can't handle roller coasters, and that's what it feels like to me. Maybe I have to be willing to go fast in order to not get stuck in whatever situation I'm dealing with.
4: Magical Gifts: New skills required for success: The Empress. Creativity- I need to learn to turn to creativity when I feel weighed down by anxiety- to use art as an outlet for stress... to let that energy become fecundity.
5: The Enchantment: Hidden obstacles along the path: 8 of Swords. Getting wrapped up in anxiety, fearing all is lost, losing a sense of the big picture, and in all of that, self absorption in the worst way. "woe is me!!!"
6: The Dragon: What you must befriend, sacrifice, or defeat: 6 of Wands. Doing anything to gain acceptance from anyone outside of myself. This is a dragon I have been trying to do away with for a long time now... I find myself looking at others for acceptance far too often, doing things their way rather that my way, and generally not being myself because I think it won't make so-and-so happy. I see now that this is directly related to my sense of equilibrium... if no one else's opinion matters, then no one can do anything to me.
7: The Awakening: The Final outcome of your efforts: 2 of swords. Hmm, this card usually seems so negative to me- but looking at it again, it doesn't have to be so. A woman stands in the moonlight, the wild sea crashing against a craggy shore- She is within her own mind, blindfolded to the rest of the world. All of the power is in her own hands. She has all of the power of her subconscious mind to fill her loneliness- and I am even projecting that loneliness. Now this card reminds me of Lake Superior- the rugged beauty and mystery of a wild shore. Now, this doesn't seem like a bad outcome- being one who is looking intensely inwards, into the sea of the subconscious.
One thing I notice, looking at all of the cards together, is that there is a preponderance of blues and greens- and intuitively, I think this means I need to reconnect with nature. I think tomorrow I will head over to the indoor gardens that are pretty close to my house. I feel really good about this reading- I think everything really flowed nicely for me. I feel like I'm getting back into the swing of reading, and Llewellyn is seeming much more cozy than it used to feel. At first it had a distinct chilliness to it. I think I am just becoming accustomed to it's highly British manners.